Uncle Bill and World War II - The Hoax

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NOTE: My mother's brother, my Uncle Bill, participated in many of the major battles of the European theatre during World War II. This page and others reveal his experiences. For a full listing, see the bottom of this page. The photo at left is one of the rare photos I have of my uncle. It was taken after the war.

The Hoax on the Sergeant

My Uncle Bill loved a practical joke. I am not someone who likes practical jokes, so this part of my uncle's personality never particularly appealed to me. But he was capable of some elaborate ruses. Even during a war, he found ways to play tricks on people. I find myself wondering if this entire story is true, or if there's just a little bit of exaggeration on my uncle's part. Whatever the truth is, it does make for a pretty good story.

"One thing we did in camp was pull a gigantic hoax on [one of our sergeants]. He was a womanizer. He had a lovely wife and twins at home but he had to chase every skirt anywhere."

"[Prior to his coming to Europe, the sergeant] had been sent to personnel school at Philadelphia and started dating a girl there. The only way he could get her to bed was to propose marriage to her and buy her a ring. Then, of course, he was transferred back to the 981st and goodbye girlfriend in Philadelphia."

The Plan

Perhaps Bill wanted the sergeant to think a little bit about his behaviour and the consequences of those behaviours.

"I made up dozens of letters, papers, official documents, etc., making up a big story that this girl was pregnant, from a good Philadelphia family, and the family wanted [the sergeant] returned to Philadelphia to marry the girl.

"I got official stationery from ETOUSA [European Theatre of Operations, United States Army], First Army, Seventh Corps, 142nd Group, etc., and even got the papers officially stamped when I made trips to [these offices], etc. [Another sergeant] and I folded the papers, and refolded them, got the oldest ones a little soiled to look official. Boy, were we going to have fun...

"The [fake] papers from the Pentagon on down said, 'Unless [the sergeant] is absolutely essential to the war effort, return him to Philadelphia immediately.'

"The final decision was to be made by the commanding officer of the 981st FA Bn. [My co-conspirator] and I gave these papers to...the man who operated the Message Centre [and] who delivered all official messages and the mail. He started reading and started laughing. What a good joke! Soon tears were running down his eyes. What a joke!"

The Sergeant Becomes the Target

Bill and his friends finally came to the day when they knew that the sergeant would receive the letters.

"When it was time [for the Message Centre] to deliver official papers, in came the Major. He had the papers: He stood [the sergeant] to attention, read him a riot act, chewed him up one side and down the other, and I knew I was probably facing a courts martial. Something had gone wrong.

"How did those papers get into the Major's hands? [Once everyone started laughing, the Major asked what was going on.] The Major...liked a good joke and so he took them to the Colonel who said, 'Oh, boy, let me play with this too.'

"So the Colonel came in and said to [the sergeant], 'You’re going to Philadelphia.'

"[The sergeant] pleaded, 'You know I’m married. I have twins. I love my family.'

"Well,' said the colonel, 'You’re going to apologize to that girl and her family. And you’re going to support that child.'

Fortunately, the joke came to an end.

At some point, the joke had to end. When it did, perhaps not a lot was learned.

"Well, the joke went so far; we had [the sergeant] in his best uniform, in a jeep, ready to go to an airport to fly to the States when we told him it was all a joke. [The sergeant] said he would live the straight and narrow path forever and 'forever'— which for him was about three days."

Even in war, Bill was able to find some humour. But that was his personality. Here are the some battles that Bill experienced:

• Normandy June 6, 1944
• The Battle of Cherbourg June 18, 1944
• Battle of the Hedgerows and Battle of Saint Lo July 7-19, 1944
• Battle of the Falaise Pocket August 11-21, 1944
• Battle of the Hurtgen Forest September 19 - December 6, 1944
• The Fall of Aachen October 2-21, 1944
• Battle of the Bulge December 15, 1944 - January 25, 1945

Or return to Main Page to check out other battles, other stories.